What the #$%^ happened?

There was a time when my life seemed so full of promise…Now before I go any further, I want it to be understood that I am thankful…back to the post…As I was saying, I was so full of promise, I was told I was so smart, so bright, my smile was so white, etc. As FB makes the world closer and closer, the people in your past that you tried to run from seem to be getting nearer due to the fact that all of us on FB are in this race to add more friends. It seems like time, that you were counting on to be the great divider, has become the great uniter. It seems like people are always trying to contact one another on FB. I remember when I first joined FB, I was a constant 20 friends, most of which who are family…It seems like I stayed at this number and I was ridiculously afraid that I would be a "loser" with only 20 friends, most of which I had the same last name as. Then when I started to lose interest and now I am at 60 friends…really and truly, I cannot remember how I found a majority of them….or how they found me…
As I start to reconnect with more and more people, I am starting to realize that those with the unwavering "loser" amounts are the true winners. They are winners because I feel that a majority of the people that added me do not remember why we fell out of touch…I remember for some of them, some I realize were for petty reasons…However why these "losers" are truly winners are because no one is contacting them on hazy memories of good times…They have cut those out of their lives with a finite word or action. Me on the other hand I have haze connecting me to some of my 'friends' on fb.
The main thing that I noticed on fb is how comfortable I have become…I realize that a majority of my friends are advancing their careers by advancing their education. Aa lot of them are going to prestigious universities or have. I feel like I am being overwhemlmed by names of Ivy leagues and posts of revolution….I look at my profile and I realize that my profile is looking more like a college students and less like a young professional…There are at least 5 photo albums of good times and no posts on the state of Black America, politics, Sean Bell. What happened to the person I was in college? Did being broke really break me down? Did my increase of real world responsibility build a callus on the flesh that used to care about issues that affected more beyond my bubble?
I want to leave the bubble that I live in but the soap and water that form the orb I inhabit feel like steel. My soap and water is made of a check, mortgage, fear and responsibility to a widowed mother whose loneliness and needs are palapable.
This key that this job seemed to be from the ball & chain that was my previous job seems to have turned into a house of cake. Sweet to taste and smell but sickening in large doses. The house of cake seems to offer more and more. It forms its own ball and chain, made of dollar bills. WHAT HAPPENED?