I haven't talked to my x in months...we went from talking at least 2 times a day to me changing my number and feeling so free of him....I had made him my center and envied the position I had so freely gave him...I have tried to explain to my friends that I need to talk to him, but no one understands y....how can i explain that the person who hurt me so bad is also the same person who kept me afloat when I felt like i was drowning in a sea of hurt, despair and low self esteem???Do I need to really explain???................I callled him today and it was......weird because i had to screen what I was saying because i did not want him to think that i was passively insulting him.... I hurt him because I did not break up the way I should have. I felt like I was becoming one of his stans....my feelings towards him became a toxic mix of possesiveness, hate, shame, lust, and envy...I stopped being his friend...i think that is what hurt the most...that my envy got the best of me...I was jealous of the fact that he got over me likethat....i think I am better now....
well this evening was discouraging because I called to guys....one did not even pick up my call and i called my x......when will the madness end????
No comments:
Post a Comment