I gave something away...and now I want it back.

I was a virgin until last Sunday. I unknowingly gave it away to someone who was not only non-deserving, but a total prick. I am left with not only the physical pain and worry associated with having sex, I am also dealing with the emotional ramifications of giving away something that I did not want to. I am so heartsick, that I don't want any man to even look at me. I have been single for about 5 years. I miss being held, wanted and kissed. Everytime I said no, this guy would keep trying. I feel like someone who got used and thrown away. Like paper towel. I feel so stupid. I should know better. I should have known better.

Apparently, I am........

I took the 43 Things Personality Quiz and found out I'm a

Spiritual Reinventing Tree Hugger

I'm Tired

....like really physically tired. I am tired of close friends that have used their position to unintentionally hurt you. I'm tired of doing what everyone else feels is right. I am tired of being the one who makes the "right" decisions. I am tired of feeling like what I do is not good enough. I'm tired of reading all these articles on relationsips. I am tired of getting nothing for Valentine's Day. I am tired of attracting guys who are losers or just down right questionable. Does that mean that I am a loser too? How come it seems like everyone else can find someone that they connect with and I can't? Ok, I am whining now. I am going to stop.